Despising the Shame

Yesterday we talked about Leaving Egypt.  We said that before we can enter the Promised Land, we must leave behind what holds us captive.  I admit that it’s really tempting for me to skip over the Egypt / bondage part and get to the fun stuff.  But tearing down unhealthy relationships is an essential part of building the foundation for healthy ones.  You have to uproot the weeds before you can plant new seeds!   

I hated pulling weeds as a kid, honestly.  It was my least favorite chore.  Weed pulling seemed always to happen on hot days, when I really wasn’t in the mood (not that I ever was in the mood to pull weeds).  Putting work gloves on, kneeling in the dirt and pulling weeds from the garden was never fun, but it was necessary.  I’ve always enjoyed watching flowers in full bloom.  I wish flowers bloomed year round, but tending a garden takes work.  Flowers can’t grow and thrive in an environment where weeds are choking the life out of them.  Uprooting weeds cleanses the atmosphere where flowers live, so they can grow to full bloom.  That’s what we’re talking about: learning how to tend the gardens of our hearts and uprooting old, life-choking weeds so we can enjoy a lifetime of beautiful flowers.   

Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues (forces) of life. ~Proverbs 4:23

Suppose you’ve identified some abusive or unhealthy relationships in your life.  Or perhaps you’ve even gone a step further and taken the difficult, but necessary, step of saying: “No more.”  Now what? 

Chances are, if you are freshly stepping into your new freedom, your emotions are pulling at you.  You may feel remorse or doubts about your future.  Perhaps the most insidious sub-turf feeling you have is shame.  Shame is a deep sense of humiliation or embarrassment that strikes to the heart of who you are as a person.   

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement (payment) of our peace (wholeness) was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.  ~Isaiah 53:4-5

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  ~Hebrews 12:2

Don't be ashamed if you've been abused in your life.  That's not your fault.  Jesus Christ took the blame and carried your shame and nailed it to a cross.  He bears the scars to prove it.  That blame, that shame, is dead and gone, but Your Redeemer lives!  And for you abusers out there, you need to know that just as much as the people you hurt.  Christ died for you, too.  His love is big enough to cover your sins.  (1 Peter 4:8).  1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  Do it now!  Turn away from your abusive ways and turn into the embrace of a loving God who has never left your side, who never condemns you and who always wants to restore you with His love. 

A lot of you have been hurt.  Consequently, a lot of you say of yourselves, "I have anger problems."  Well today is the day to get rid of that once and for all.  You don't need years of counseling to hash and rehash every bad thing that you've done or what's been done to you.  I'm not knocking counseling.  Counseling helped me get back on my feet after breaking free from an abusive relationship.  But counseling is only helpful if you are bettered because of it.  (See Mark 5:25-34 for the story of the woman with the issue of blood who was nothing bettered after seeing physicians for 12 years, but one touch from Jesus Christ healed her completely in an instant.)  At a certain point we have to make a personal decision.  We have to choose whether to be defined by what has been done to us and/or wallow in the consequences of our own decisions, or we can choose to move forward and never look back.  

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.  ~Philippians 3:13-14

 

Why not today?  Why not right now?  Instead of repressing or medicating your anger, how about dealing with it?  Look, I understand you have legitimate reasons to be angry.  We all do.  But if that hurt and that anger is the undercurrent of every decision we make, how we see ourselves and how we treat others – then shouldn’t we just nip it in the bud and deal with it?  Abuse may have kicked your butt in the past, but why let it continue to beat you down now and into the future?  Let’s let go of the hurts of the past TODAY, so we can embrace a better tomorrow.  

Those hurts are just residual weeds that will try to choke the life out of your future relationships.  Pull those weeds and cultivate an atmosphere in your life that will allow new seeds to grow, flourish and bloom.