Monday, January 5, 2015

Waiting for "The One" Part II

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding...(Proverbs 3:5)

Trust is Built on Truth, Not Assumptions.

Like in weight training, we have to be broken down before we can be built back up.  Last time we talked about "waiting for the one," and how destructive and disappointing it can be when we wait for the "perfect" one who never comes (there's only one perfect man, after all: the man Jesus Christ!).  Here, we have a situation where a whole lot of Christians are disappointed, bitter and angry with God about their relationships (or lack thereof).  Before we can talk about building healthy relationships, we have to break down the false assumptions that are causing the bitterness, anger and, frankly, hatred toward God that I've seen in so many (including myself).

As unpopular as this may be, I have yet to read a scripture prescribing "the one" person for me.  Anywhere.  I see a lot of scriptures on wisdom; how "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"; and the importance of being equally yoked with like-minded believers ....but this still leaves room for free choice.

Another reason why "the one" mentality is so destructive is because what if "the one" doesn't get the memo?  Seriously.  Remember when I told you about the man on the bus who thought I was "the one"?  Does that mean his fate in marriage was left in my hands?  Does that mean I threw the stars out of alignment and usurped the Divine scheme of things by declining to marry him?  Does that mean my fate is forever left in the hands of another?  I sure hope not! 

This is not funny.  People think this way.  I used to think this way.  I've heard people lament after years of marriage that they don't think they married "the one" and so they covet longingly for "the one" who got away.  Their kids are growing up before their eyes, but they're too busy to notice because they're wishing their life away.  Scary business, folks.  "The One" is not just some Hollywood movie tactic.  This mentality is impacting and stealing from real people's lives even now.  Maybe even yours.

(Disclaimer:  I am NOT taking anything away from those of you who have found a marriage partner or someone you love.  I in no way doubt God's goodness in the love that you share, and neither should you.  I rejoice with you in that.  This message is directed to you swinging singles out there who've gotten a little impatient and bitter at God for perceived promises unfulfilled...and to you married people who find yourselves looking and longing for more.)

Why do I care about breaking down this false assumption?  Because...

Idols Make Us Idle

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12)

Folks, I know that of which I speak.  The only reason why I would lay my heart out here for you like this is because I sincerely love you, and I don't want you, or anyone else, to fall for the same traps I have.  The purpose of me sharing these things is so we can move from "hope deferred" to "longings fulfilled."  It's time for us to receive our victory.

When we have false, man-made idols in our lives like "the One," then we sit idly by.  We watch the clock tick by and we eventually give in and give up on God's promises, because that hope (not being based on truth in scripture) will never come to fruition.  Our hope in "the one" is built on our assumptions, not on a God-founded promise.  We've wasted so much time hoping/waiting on an assumption, rather than waiting on The Real One (God).  And that's just wrong.  That's just WISHFUL THINKING, which ends in disappointment.  Here's God's truth to stand on:

Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. ~ Psalm 37:4-5.

We have an enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy our lives and he does so, first of all, by robbing us of truth.  Anything in our lives not based on Truth is going to fall and fail, and the enemy knows that.  Jesus said, "I am the way, the Truth, and the Life.  No man comes to the Father but by me." (John 14:6).   Satan seeks to separate us from the Truth.  Satan will separate us from truth (God's real promises) by putting a carrot in front of us (like "the one") and taunting us with it; then he'll pull it away at the last second and leave us starving and bitter at God (of all things!).  But God is the only one who can help you!  There's no one who cares for you more than God Almighty.  Don't be mad at God!  Wise up.  Once you get offended at God, you might as well: a) repent or b) kiss your victory good-bye.  I know, my friends, because I've wasted a lot of time being mad at God for 'broken' promises that He never promised!  It's time to get real and win.

Find out what God promises in the area of relationships.  I'll give you a hint: the foundation has everything to do with the God kind of Love (agape).  See 1 Corinthians 13, for starters.  Let's forsake our worldly mindsets and trade up for the perspective of the One who designed relationships.

He is the only One I'm waiting on.    

Wait on the Lord.  Be courageous, and He will strengthen your heart.  Wait (expect/hope) on the Lord! ~Psalm 27:14.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. ~ Psalm 62:5.

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