"I Love You"

Anxious, I hustle and bustle my way down the morning-lit Autumn avenue. Fall is in the air. The tinged-gold leaves highlight the changing season, as the not-yet-chilly breeze whisks by. Flustered, the wind strokes my hair and I am lost in a thousand inward thoughts. The to-do list ticks away in my mind and I anticipate the funny moments of the day (my eye is trained to spot them now). My thoughts turn to someone I love. I can't hold back my smile.  My thousand thoughts turn into one. All else goes out of my mind. Then, I stop.

 "God...I love you," I say.

The words linger in my thoughts. All is silent. I think to myself, "I can't remember the last time I told Him that!" My heart breaks at the thought I hadn't told Him 'I love you' sooner, for so long. "I love you." I ponder those words. If I said them for all eternity, I could never say them enough. I wonder if He longs for me as I long for the one I love... A soft response reassures me, "All the time."

It's not enough to tell someone "I love you." Do love them. Show them you do. Cherish them. Remember them. Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15). What is the ultimate commandment? Love.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself. (Luke 10:27). It all comes down to love.

So why are we so uncomfortable with this concept of Love in our society today? Perhaps because we've traded the word "Love" for tit-for-tat, quid pro quo, you scratch my back....well, you get the picture. The word "love" in our vernacular has been diluted to mean "I want something from you." This is a concept that I refer to as the....

"I Love You" Wars 

Yep. We've all been there. Or at least I have. More than once. You're coming to the end of a conversation and then suddenly the tension builds. "Uh oh," you think. "It's coming..."

And then, inevitably, it happens.

From the other side of the telephone line or, more dangerously, from the someone standing right in front of you, out spring the words: "I love you." Gulp. "What do I do now?" you think.  In a nano second a thousand thoughts blur your mind, such as:

 • "If I say I love you, they might think I do. I don't want to give them the wrong impression."
• "I don't know how I feel!"
• "Gosh, I really don't love them like that."
• "Well, they say 'I love you' to everyone, so it really doesn't mean anything." Or maybe...
• "Wow. I really do love them, too."

Well, if you're like me, many times I've simply just said, "Thank you."

Yes, "thank you." It's not quite rude, but it's decidedly not reciprocal. But I really didn't mean "thank you." I meant "back off." The words "I love you" became a trigger for me to batten down the hatches and put my walls up. The phrase was like a curse word in my ears.

Why?

In times past those words have been used as a tool of manipulation against me by people who have not had my best in mind.

In fact, my dear friend and former roommate (who lovingly says I drove her into counseling ~ she's a successful and brilliant counselor now), can testify to the fact that more than once I chucked my phone at the wall from across the room after a series of conversations with a certain someone ended in "I love you," on his end and "thank you" on mine. I didn't know how to deal with it! So I thought taking my anger out on my phone would do the trick. (Lo, and behold, it did not.)

So often "love" in our society has been misconstrued as disingenuous.  So often the phrase "I love you" could be translated into "I want to be affirmed by you."

Sometimes it becomes a contest to see if someone will say, "I love you" back. Like a "Gotcha!" game. And what's more romantic than being forced to say something you don't want to say to someone to whom you don't want to say it? For those of you old enough to remember the 90s hit sitcom, Family Matters, Steve Urkel's infamous catchphrase comes to mind: "I'm wearing you down, baby...I'm wearing you down!"

  

Ha, no, you're not!

Now I'm not knocking telling others you love them, if you really do. I'm just acknowledging the fact that sometimes those words can trigger memories of past hurt, if not used wisely and timed rightly. 

But What if You Really Do Love Someone? 

Nike it. Just do it! Let your love be more than mere words.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for his friends ~John 15:13.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. ~ James 1:22-25.

The greatest way to walk in love toward someone is to ask God how to bless them. Pray about it. Do what comes to mind.

And.... Let love be without hypocrisy. ~Romans 12:9.

Don't be the Judas who hugs your brother, says "I love you," and stabs him in the back as soon as he turns around. It's not enough to say "I love you." Do. Show them you really do love them. After all, God is our example, and this is what He did:

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. ~John 3:16. If you really love someone, start imitating self-sacrificing Love Himself and watch what happens.

Therefore be imitators of God, as dear children; and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us, and has given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. ~Ephesians 5:1-2.

Watch the power of Love change a life today: watch it change yours.

The Story of Hosea

Believe-It-Or-Nots

Have you ever heard someone (ahem, perhaps yourself) say: "If only I had enough faith, then (such and such) would happen."  Or, "Lord, help my unbelief!"  If you've said or thought that, you're not alone.  I have too.

But I think this has gotten to be a religious ritual, err, scapegoat.  As an excuse for why things do or don't happen, we've just said "well, I didn't believe enough."  That's a sad gospel if it's true, my friends.  That is not good news.  Whenever did I have the faith on my own to believe enough?  Surely not before I knew God, and certainly not since I've known God have I graduated to a "do-it-yourself" faith.

2 Corinthians 11:3 warns us not to be corrupted from the simplicity of the faith.  So let's go back to the basics today on this issue of belief.  I submit to you there's no such thing as not believing enough.  There's only what I'll call "believe-it-or-nots."  You either believe it - or not.  Simple, eh?

If I told you the sky was blue, you wouldn't have to conjure up belief within yourself to ascend to the revelation that the sky is blue.  You would either believe me, or not.  Now you could argue with me about what shade of blue the sky is if you wanted, but the truth of the blueness of the sky would still stand.  The same is true with scripture.

You could read the verse "By His stripes I was healed." (1 Peter 2:24).  You could believe that, in fact, Jesus Christ bore your sins on the cross and by His wounds you were healed, that He took your pain so you wouldn't have to bear it.  You could believe that.  Or not.  Some people will flat out not believe it.  Others will be unsure.  This un-sureness will still manifest as unbelief, though, because he that wavers (doubts) is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed; that man shouldn't expect to receive anything of the Lord, for a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1:6-8).   So when you boil it down, you either believe it or you don't.

We try to religicize it and make whole doctrines diluting God's promises and elucidating why "this faith thing" just doesn't work, when, in fact, it's working all the time. 

For indeed we have had good news preached to us, just as they also; but the word they heard did not profit them, because it was not mixed with faith in those who heard.  ~Hebrews 4:2.

Are you a believer or not?  I'm persuaded that "unbeliever" doesn't mean someone who doesn't know God.  Unbelievers are people who have heard the Word and chosen not to believe it.  Unbelievers can profess themselves to be Christian, wear Christian badges, hold fancy titles, and even have seminary degrees.  Believers, on the other hand, need no introduction.  I don't need any glitz and glam if I believe God, because when I believe God the impossible manifests around me.  The fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, etc.) start sprouting up around me and within me when I believe God.  It's undeniable and unmistakable.  Newsflash, unbelievers:  it's undeniable and unmistakable, too, when you don't believe God.  Suddenly anger, bitterness, pride, evil speaking, and confusion sprout up around you and in you when you've hardened your heart against the promises of God.

Believe scripture?  Then, praise God, it's working!  Don't believe?  Praise God, it's still working and it won't profit you anything because it's not mixed with faith.  You get results either way!  

You don't have to confess scripture over yourself 100 times per day.  Only believe.  Jesus said: 

If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes.  ~Mark 9:23.

So, what are you waiting for?  Do you believe it?  Or not?

Pride

"I'm not smart enough"

"I'm not pretty enough"

"I'm not good enough."

Chances are you think of these statements as self-deprecating, but did you realize these statements are actually pride in disguise?  Take a closer look.    

We normally think of pride or arrogance as thinking better of ourselves than we ought to think.  Indeed, scripture implores us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think.  Romans 12:3 says: " For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."

That's one form of pride.  The other form is a more subtle, inverse pride.  Sometimes we think too much of ourselves, but oftentimes, we're not thinking highly enough.  Really it's two sides of the same coin.

Either form of pride says "I got this."  Pride is all about me - what I can or can't do and what I feel.  Humility, on the other hand, says "I can do nothing without Him." (John 15:5).  Humility is submission to what God says about you.  If God calls me the "righteousness of God in Christ" (2 Corinthians 5:21), then, by golly, that's what I am!  If God says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength," (Philippians 4:13), then I can!  If God says that Christ in me can "preach the gospel to the poor, heal the brokenhearted, proclaim release to the captives, recovery of sight to the blind, and set the oppressed free," (Luke 4:18), then, in Christ, I will!  Humility is not about what I've done or can do, it's about what He did.  

Humility is boasting in the Lord! (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Humility says:

"I'm smart, because God made me smart."

"I'm beautiful, because God called me beautiful."

"I'm wanted, because God accepted me." 

"I'm good, because God is good and a good God made me!"

Friends, we don't need faith to feel defeated.  Anyone can do that.  We need faith to simply realize what Christ has already done.  If we've been translated into the Kingdom of Light and we belong to the Body of Christ, then feeling defeated is a form of pride, because He has already given us the victory.  Who are you to say you are a loser?  Who are you to say you're unworthy?  Who are you to say your life is beyond redemption?  Who are you to contradict God?  The value of your life is not up to you; it, quite literally, is on Him.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. 

Christ has won you the victory!  He has snatched the keys of Hell and triumphed over death - for you - once and for all.  You hold the keys to your freedom because Christ gave them to you.  Stop snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory.  You are already victorious in Christ.  Rejoice!  Love has won. 

In the words of Nelson Mandela:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Wishful Thinking

(Editor's note:  Sometimes what we call "faith" isn't faith at all.  Faith is not a feeling; it is a Spiritual Force.)

The following account is true.

(A cold and snowy December night, 12:01a.m.)

Ring...Ring...Ring...

Mom:  Hello? 

Me:     Mom!!!  Guess what?!!!

Mom:  What? ....  What time is it...? (sleepily)

Me:     He proposed!

Mom:  Who proposed?! 

Me:     Well, I just met him.  I don't really know him, but...he proposed! 

Mom:  What are you talking about?!!! (incredulously)

Me:     —And I'm actually considering it!!  (gleefully)

Mom:  What?!!!! 

***

And the sad news is: I did.  Consider it.  Briefly.  Well, for one week.  We broke up on Christmas Eve.  It was a hard Christmas that year.  It's hard to break up with someone you never actually dated, but I've proven it's possible more than once. 

My poor mother!  What could Mom see that I didn't?  I was suffering from a severe case of...

Wishful Thinking.

I confess I'm a hopeful romantic at heart.  Despite my lapses into cynicism over the years, I desperately hope that Love is real.  And not just God's Love, but true love between people. 

I've earned the epithets I've acquired over the years: quirky, an eternal optimist, delusional.  In different seasons these adjectives have painted an accurate portrait of me.  But today I want to trade all those epithets for this one: HOPE-ful.  I want my hope to be anchored in something real.  Let me show you what I mean.

My life used to be dramatic like this.  Apologies in advance for the graphic nature of this video...

"I will go down with this ship!"....glug, glug, glug.  Sounds noble, doesn't it?  Maybe.  But at the end of the day you're still sunk.  Today I would trade all the drama in the world for some authentic hope. 

If hope is the anchor of the soul, then wishful thinking is the leak that sinks the ship.  Wishful thinking doesn't even let you know you're sinking! 
 

Hope keeps you steady and afloat.  Hebrews 6:19 says: This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast.  An anchor is a source of security and stability.  Wishful thinking is "the unrealistic belief that something wished for is actually true or will be realized."  The dictionary defines wishful thinking as "interpretation of facts as one would like them to be rather than as they really are; imagining as actual what is not."  Unlike hope, wishful thinking is an ever changing wind: unsure and untrustworthy.  Hope is based on truth; wishful thinking is based on lies.

Have you ever heard yourself say, "I hope ____ happens."  Or "I sure hope so!"  What do we really mean by that?  Hope literally means to expect with confidence.  Our translation of hope, however, is usually "that would be nice, but it's probably not going to happen."  That's one way we misuse hope.

Or even worse yet, sometimes we say "it's going to be fine" without ever evaluating the reality of the situation.  The scary thing is "It's all going to be ok" can look like hope fueled by faith!  Sometimes it is.  And sometimes this is wishful thinking, commonly known as "Denial."  Wishful thinking tells you "it's all going to be okay" when it's not.  

How are we to know the difference?

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:12.

In aviation the thought that "it could never happen to me" is called a hazardous attitude.  It's a dangerous thought.  This arrogance puts up blinders and gives pilots a false sense of security when real challenges lie ahead.  The cure for hazardous attitudes — in flying and in life — is humility and vigilance, seeking a deeper understanding of what could go wrong and facing head-on the real challenges before you.  It means being real about where you are and what you know; aware of the possibilities; living each moment as it comes; and making conscious decisions so those decision aren't made for you.

Hope is anchored in God's unchanging Word.  Wishful thinking has no basis other than a flimsy desire for something.  Wishful thinking is problematic because it is really disappointing when something you believed would happen doesn't happen.
 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. ~Proverbs 13:12.

Wishful thinking leaves you empty-handed, but Hope makes good on its promises. 

So what are you hoping for?  Good relationships?  Financial abundance?  Good health?  To know God more?  (3 John 2).  You don't have to sit there passively and say, "Well, that would be nice if..."  Go get it! 

Get what?  HOPE! 

Where?  In scripture. 

Why?  Because Hope is the first ingredient of faith!  Hope is faith's end goal.  There is no such thing as faith without Hope.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. ~Hebrews 11:1.

So what if you've been disappointed by wishful thinking in the past?  We all have.  Chalk it up to experience, learn from it, and move on.  

And if someone proposes to you on a whim: run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.  That's just wishful thinking.  I've since learned you can't have a relationship with someone with whom you don't have a relationship.  (Profound, I know, but very true.)

Dig deep into the scriptures and discover the One whose promises are sure.  Get to know Him!  He will fulfill the longings of your heart.  We don't have to go down with the ship.  We can anchor our Hope in something real.  And He won't disappoint.

"And now, Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in You." ~ Psalm 39:7.

Reset

Growing up, my summers were marked by playing Super Mario 3 on Nintendo with the boys.  The original, old-school Nintendo was one of my favorite childhood joys.  One of the greatest beauties of Nintendo to me was the reset button. 

No matter how many times you died in a video game, you could always come back to life through this magical grey button on the Nintendo box.  You were never invincible, per se, in video game land.  No, you could still die.  You could still get hurt.  You could still suffer setbacks that would take you hours to regain the ground you lost.  But there was always this option of starting afresh; this beautiful concept of resetting your game and being brought back to new life.   

Have you ever thought of how awesome it would be to push the reset button on your life? 

I mean, not to "end it," but to start where you left off when things took a turn for the worse.  Have you ever thought that you fouled up so badly that your life seemed beyond redemption?  I have.  How nice it would be to press the reset button on a screwed up relationship, messed up finances, or after dropping the ball on a work assignment!   Sometimes we just want the chance to start over again. 

The good news is, in Christ, we can.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.  ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Brethren, I count not myself yet to have apprehended: but one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 3:14.

Have you ever played Mario Kart?  

I think God invented Mario Kart, because it truly is an amazing and prophetic game.  Go find it and play it for yourself if you don't believe me.  Mario Kart is a racing game in which players compete for the best finish time.  In Mario Kart you race laps around a track full of obstacles (like banana peels, grenades and what have you), and sometimes, in your haste, you veer off course. 

But what happens when you veer far enough off course? 

In that game, a giant hand from heaven comes down, picks you up and puts you back on the road, right where you left off.  What a beautiful image of what God does for us. 

Even when we were dead in sins, (He) has quickened us together with Christ, (by grace you are saved;) and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  ~ Ephesians 2:5-7

God will always do you one better.  He not only sets us back where we left off when we go off track; He sets us in a far better position than we could have ever obtained before.  In Mario Kart, time elapses.  You will be set back in your race for the time that you missed while off road.  In Christ, however, God redeems the time and He makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). 

I heard a minister testify once that he partied his 20s away.  At age 30 he answered God's call on his life to go into ministry.  As he started moving ahead in his ministry, though, he felt the strain of condemnation.  The whispers of the enemy started saying, "If you'd gone into ministry sooner, you'd be way further ahead than you are now!"  He felt condemned that he had wasted so much time.  He thought, gosh, what if I had started following God's plan for my life 20 years ago?  He inquired of the Lord on this issue and the response he received was beautiful:

"You would be right where you are right now."  Where is that?  Smack dab in the center of God's will for your life.

How is that possible?  Because God is that good.  His grace is that real and He is no respecter of persons (He doesn't play favorites).  That is just as true for me as it is for you.  Christians, I'm talking to you on this one.  All of us have messed up.  Maybe you've leaned on the crutch of "before I became a Christian, I did this and that..."  Well, what about after you became a new creation in Christ?  Some of you have fallen under condemnation for screw-ups after you became a Christian.  My friends, if while we were yet sinners Christ died for us, how much more is that true now?

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.…~Romans 5:8.   

Run to Win

When you go off track, don't resist the hand from heaven trying to put you back on the right road.  Thank God for His mercy on your life and let Him take you there.  How beautiful it is to be reset in a better place than where we left off.  Keep running the race at full speed and win.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:25.

Dismantling Chauvinism

#LikeAGirl

 

Chauvinism:  An attitude that members of your own sex are always better than the opposite sex.  It means you believe the opposite sex is inferior to your own, and unworthy of equal treatment.  Chauvinism is not just a guy thing; it’s a gal thing, too. 

While some men may slap hands over “score” boards and cat call women on the street, women may say that all men are idiots or malicious predators.  Both are different manifestations of the same bigotry.  Chauvinism at its heart is a distorted view of reality, which plays on our worst fears.  It's very similar to racism. 

***

Post-Civil War, a war-wearied nation emerged free from the shackles of slavery, but the Jim Crow South still showed a reckless and violent disregard for people of color through institutionalized bigotry.  The races were kept completely separate – in restaurants, on buses, in schools, restrooms and drinking fountains.  While the chains of slavery had been officially broken, the underlying bigotry that fueled slavery was still deeply rooted in American culture.  There were (and there still are) remnants of distrust between the races, which in the Jim Crow days was manifested not only by overt fighting words, but more so by the cold shoulder of disinterest and disdain for our neighbor because of the color of their skin.  Racism was just “the way it was.”  Like a pot boiling over, it was just a matter of time before the deep-seeded anger surfaced.  What lay beneath soon emerged to the surface in the Civil Rights Movement, a movement where people began to walk in the liberty already guaranteed them by the U.S. Constitution.     

***

Chauvinism and racism are two different creatures, but the same spirit of division fuels them both.  Like racism, chauvinism is something you feel.  People don’t have to say anything to display their attitudes toward people of a different sex.  The spirit of my attitude is on display for all to see through my words, actions or awkward interactions. 

How we view each other determines the quality of our relationships.  The bottom line is this:  Do we see each other as objects to be conquered or companions to be cherished?  How we answer that question will define the quality of not only our romantic relationships, but our platonic ones as well. 

If I see you as an object to be conquered, then it’s really not about you.  My relationship to you is only defined by what you can do for me.  I want you as long as I can use you, but then I can throw you away at will.  You become a play thing rather than a person to me.  That’s disgusting, I know, but is this happening even now?      

A cherished companion, however, is in it for the long-haul, through thick and through thin. 

  
It doesn’t matter what’s happening in life – in good times or bad times, a true friend will stick with you.  True friends don’t fizzle out when the going gets tough, but will bear your burdens and work through the hard stuff.  If I see you as a companion to be cherished, then I will role up my sleeves, wash your feet (at least metaphorically!) and lay down my life for you. (John 15:13).  That is Love.  That type of Love eschews selfish ambition and prefers you to me.    

Do you see the difference?   

One is selfish (childish/immature); the other is gracious and giving (grown up).  1 Corinthians 13:11. 

If I’m trying to objectify and conquer you, then that’s not on you; it’s bred out of my own insecurity that craves control.  Men and women, you don’t have to act tough if you are tough.  Strength speaks for itself.  We don’t have to overcompensate for our own insecurities by conquering and controlling others.

If I cherish you as a companion, then I don’t wake up in the morning wondering if you’ll still be in my life or if I need to cut and run.  I am devoted to you, no matter what.  In a relationship (friendship or otherwise) where I cherish you as my companion, I am strong.  If I cherish you, then I am being chiseled, with you, into a stronger, more durable companion as we face and overcome the challenges of life together.

Who do you want to be?

Someone who fits into the crowd, cracks crude jokes and demeans the opposite sex, or someone who, through your good deeds, puts to silence the ignorance of foolish men (and women)?  1 Peter 2:15.   

Today’s a new day.  The cease-fire in the battle of the sexes starts with us, and Love is always first to lead the way.  I may have missed it in the past, but I know which path to choose today.

but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Growing-Spiritually#sthash.qlIsKRQi.dpuf

 ...Speaking the truth in love, (we) may grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ. ~ Ephesians 4:15

PS ~ I have to laugh, because I know that some of you are disturbed by the fact that the video at the beginning of this post comes from an ad campaign sponsored by a feminine products company.  The *funny* thing is, some of you are more disturbed by that than you are by the real and latent prejudices between the sexes.  To which I say: case in point! :-)

but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Growing-Spiritually#sthash.qlIsKRQi.dpuf